Interfaith/ Intercultural Counseling

Couples and Premarital Counseling in North Chelsea NYC

Premarital Counseling seeks to address the many sensitive topics and challenges couples face when choosing to wed. Adding to an already anxious time, couples who are interfaith/ intercultural often face an additional set of challenges. Midtown Marriage and Family Therapy (Midtown MFT) seeks to help couples through this time with the varied premarital counseling services we offer, an interfaith and intercultural focus being one of them.

What is interfaith premarital counseling?

Interfaith/ intercultural premarital counseling is a process for interfaith/ intercultural couples who want to take their commitment to the next level but feel stuck, conflicted, and/or anxious due to their religious, spiritual, and/or cultural differences.

What is interfaith/ intercultural couples counseling?

If you and your partner come from different religious, spiritual, and/or cultural backgrounds, you are considered an interfaith/ intercultural couple.  Interfaith/ intercultural couples counseling is a multiphase process in which the goal is to better understand your partner’s religious, spiritual, and/or cultural background and make choices and decisions that bridge your respective differences in terms of beliefs, values, and practices. Ultimately, you can create unique and meaningful ways that honor both of your traditions. This process allows interfaith/intercultural couples to honor and celebrate their differences while also cultivating religious, spiritual, and/or cultural harmony and vibrancy.

How is interfaith/ intercultural premarital and couples counseling different from marriage/ couples counseling?

In interfaith/ intercultural couples counseling, the primary focus of the work centers around your religious, spiritual, and/or cultural issues. However, other couples related issues you may have often get addressed in the process such as communication, conflict resolution, boundaries, and family of origin work.

When is the right time to begin?

Couples typically enter counseling focusing on faith/ culture/ religion when they are involved in a process that their differences need to be defined more concretely. You might find yourself in need of help when your begin planning your wedding or when your first child is on the way. You may also be feeling increasing pressure from your families. We can help you move through this time.

Having a wedding that honors both religious traditions.

We can help you both navigate this together by honoring the religious traditions your families hold sacred. In an ideal situation, both of your families will be open and welcoming to a member of a different faith, and your wedding can be a celebration of the joining of both traditions. Sometimes, couples face difficulties coming from their families. Sometimes, you parents and elders just want to be heard, and reassured that you will carry out both traditions, and not get lost in the other. We can help you have those difficult conversations with your families and stay united as a couple, while at the same time respecting the concerns of your parents, grandparents, and religious leaders.

Can we raise our children in both faiths?

The answer to this is both yes and no, and depends on how you see your religion. Do you believe that your beliefs are the true and only way? If so, raising a child to honor multiple traditions can be confusing as they have inherently contradictory belief systems.

Do you see your faith as a tradition of your ancestors, passed through the generations, and by honoring your faith you are honoring all those who came before you? If so, then it is possible to teach your child both spiritual traditions and that contrary beliefs or practices don’t negate the other. Living in the tri-state area is helpful as their are progressive churches, temples, synagogues, and mosques that permit multiple faiths. See this resource list for interfaith communities.

We can help you have conversations around these questions and ideas, as well as think concretely about specific items such as: Will our child go to a religious school? Will we simply observe major holidays and traditions? Which traditions are the ones we want to follow?

Essentially, interfaith counseling creates a safe space for you both to discuss and explore:

• how to learn more about and better understand their partner’s religious, spiritual, and/or cultural background
• how to reconcile differing ideologies and practices
• how to observe and celebrate each other’s holidays
• how to raise children so that they are exposed to both partners’ traditions without being overwhelmed and/or confused
• how to find a spiritual community that works for both partners
• how to integrate both extended families, especially during the wedding/holidays
• how to remain united while still honoring differences
• how to grow together spiritually even if both partners are on seemingly different paths